Self-Care is Not Just a Buzzword

I have been away from social media for a long time, much longer than I had anticipated. I took a break in 2020, not necessarily because of the pandemic, although that didn’t help, but because of a family emergency. At that time, I quit creating. My brain was overwhelmed with unimaginable fear, pain and worry and I couldn’t make and share the things I had been working on only a few weeks prior. It didn’t take long for the need to create to find its way back to me and I found myself reaching for my supplies. I tried posting again, but the hurtful comments from one individual were enough to crush me in that very raw time. So I stepped away again, this time, for years.

As I sat among my supplies knowing I didn’t have the strength to share anything at all, a thought crossed my mind: “what’s the point in making something if I don’t share it?” That thought shocked me and I spent a lot of time pondering why it was the first one I had as I sat down to create. It saddened me that I believed there was only value to my art if I shared it publicly. But once I allowed myself to slowly slip back into my practice and immerse myself in my supplies, I learned that “making art” was actually the most important part. Not sharing it. And that realization brought forth a life-changing shift in my art practice.

It feels dramatic to say that art saved me during the events of the past several years, but it’s 100% true. Without the constant comfort of my art journals, my practice of slow drawing, getting lost in the flow of watercolors, and feeling my piles of cloth books made from beloved fabrics, I don’t know how I would have made it through or who I’d be today. I believe that I was able to endure these traumatic situations and be the mother my family needed me to be because art was there to help take care of me.

My family and I are not at the end of this difficult journey yet. Far from it, I fear. But as I began teaching classes locally again a couple of years ago I opened up to students about how art has helped me. And I was blown away by how many people shared their stories with me. It has made me realize how vitally important this conversation is, how many of us are suffering through something painful and how often we don’t create because we don’t feel that we’re worth it, it isn’t worth our time, or that is isn’t valued as a legitimate form of self-care.

It feels like everywhere I turn, there’s an ad or article about self-care. It makes me happy to see that more attention is being placed on the importance of taking care of ourselves, however, it also feels like self-care has turned into the latest marketing trend that we’ll get sick of hearing about and ultimately ignore. I’ve learned the hard way about the steep price to be paid for ignoring self-care and, through conversations in the classes I’ve been teaching, have come to realize I’m not the only one. I’ve also learned a lot about what self-care isn’t.

• It isn’t just an overused buzzword.
• It isn’t selfish, even though we’re often made to feel that way when we focus on ourselves.  
• It isn’t a waste of time.
• It isn’t frivolous.
• It doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.
• It isn’t something we can ignore.

Some of these lessons were harder to learn than others and each took a lot of time and reflection to accept. But there isn’t a single “lightbulb” moment of epiphany when everything becomes clear and you instantly feel relaxed, unstressed and revitalized (although that would be nice wouldn’t it?). Just like everything else in life, self-care takes time and practice, and it changes with the seasons of our lives. Self-care isn’t one single thing, it’s a library of options that will suit us in different ways in different moments. It requires us to be mindful and check in with our minds and bodies to see what we need to choose that will properly help us relax and recharge.

Over the past several years, I learned that art is not just something I enjoy doing but is also a critical ingredient in my personal self-care recipe. For me, using art in my self-care practice could mean painting watercolor circles or stitching in one of my cloth books or practicing slow, meditative drawing patterns using my favorite fountain pen. Each activity helps to calm my mind and soothe my aching soul in different ways and, when I pay attention to my mind and body, I can determine which one I need.

Sadly, too often we succumb to the societal stigma that making art is “frivolous, a waste of time or selfish.” We worry what others will think of what we create or that what we’ve made isn’t “perfect” and doesn’t meet some arbitrary definition of what art is or “should be.” All of these statements are not only untrue, but also very damaging.

If making art soothes your soul, brings you joy and you find yourself getting lost in the process, then it is important to you and is a valuable way for you to spend your time. Give yourself permission to do it. You don’t need anyone else’s. And it doesn’t need to be something you do for hours at a time, even 10 minutes a day makes a difference. Little bits of time will add up and benefit your mental health. Begin to look for moments of “instead of” or “while” that you can fill with art:

• Instead of doom scrolling on your phone
• While watching TV
• While waiting for food to cook
• While waiting to pick up kids at school or at an activity
• Instead of looking at your phone while waiting for an appointment

Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves in situations where the people closest to us don’t understand or appreciate the art we’re creating. We end up feeling embarrassed or ashamed and hide our art or don’t make it at all. That’s why it is so important and beneficial to find an art community where we can surround ourselves with like-minded individuals who value and cherish creativity just as you do. A great way to find an art community is to take a class, join a group or attend a retreat. If you are in the Twin Cities area, here are some options:

• The Minnesota Visual Journal Collective – this is a free group that meets once a month at Wet Paint in St. Paul and is organized by myself and my dear friend Briana of Orange Spiral Arts. You can find more information about the group on my website, HERE.
• Twin Cities Metro Sketchers – this is another local group that meets at various locations and events across the Twin Cities and is organized by another very dear friend of mine. You can find more information about the group on their Facebook page HERE.
• Wet Paint – this art store is literally my home away from home. The staff are all not only extremely knowledgeable, but also very loving and kind. They offer a wide range of classes, and I am so honored to be included in their lineup of teachers. You can find a list of my upcoming classes HERE.
• Attend an art retreat and dedicate a block of time to your creative practice and self-care – I will be co-hosting the Art for Self-Care Retreat at Big Raven Farm in Spring Grove, MN October 10-13, 2024 alongside my amazing friend, Joleen Emery. This is such a special place and I’m so excited to be back this fall for another retreat. The location is gorgeous, the rooms are perfect for relaxing, the food is absolutely exquisite, and yoga classes are included in the cost of registration. And that’s all on top of four days of art instruction. There are only a few spots left so click HERE to learn more before it fills up.

If you’re looking for opportunities to connect with other creatives online there are so many options out there and it can be hard to filter out which are the best fit. Here are some suggestions of places where I have found incredible support and inspiration online:

• My friend Briana of Orange Spiral Arts offers Art Play Dates via Zoom on Tuesdays. You can learn more on her website HERE.
• I have been following Amy Maricle of The Mindful Art Studio for years and her free weekly slow drawing lessons have become a huge part of my self-care practice. She has also created an online community called The Gathering which you can join for a monthly fee, but also offers other ways to connect with a community and access classes included in the cost of membership. She also has a book called Draw Yourself Calm about her slow drawing practice, which includes many of her amazing patterns for you to learn to draw. You can learn more about all of her offerings HERE.
• Jennifer Wilkin Penick has been offering free Creativity Jumpstart sessions through the Georgetown Lombardi Arts & Humanity program. She is an incredibly inspiring artist and shares really fun and creative ideas during her sessions. You can sign up for her newsletter to be notified when new sessions are added HERE. Or you can follow Georgetown Lombardi Arts and Humanities on Eventbrite HERE for more information on new classes.
• Mandy Steward’s Secret Message Society App – I took her Becoming a Hope Beaconess class when she began it live a few years ago and it was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had, not just with art but also with community. It is now available as a self-directed course on her app, but you will also be connected to the online community. Mandy has a unique way of connecting simple moments in life to secret messages that can help guide us through both our art practice and challenging times in our lives. She helped open my eyes to hope at a time I feared it was lost forever and will always hold a very special place in my heart.

No matter what form of art you create or what supplies you use, your art is worth it and deserves to be made. Your art has value because it is valuable to you. Your art is worth spending time on and you deserve to spend time doing it. Make art simply because you want to. Make art because you need to. And if you need a reminder to create, print out one of the inspiration cards on the Free Downloads section of my website, keep it with you and pull it out when you need to give yourself permission to create.