Today I started a new book for my daily project and chose to stick with the altered book/ #usewhatyouhave theme. I had a few I was trying to decide between, but ultimately chose Vagabond Voyaging. The past several years, I’ve felt like I’ve been in survival mode and doing what I’ve needed to do to make it through one day and onto the next. I’ve had plans and goals, but every time I try to make a step in their direction, life throws disaster in my path and I’m rerouted back to survival mode. I feel like I’ve survived, but not thrived. When I pulled this book out, I was drawn to the compass. It’s been a recurring symbol for me over the years. Then I looked “vagabond” up in the dictionary to confirm the meaning and found it’s a person who wanders from place to place without a home or a job. I felt a deep connection. I’ve been lost. I’ve been wandering. And through this time, I turned to art to help guide me. It became my compass, my guiding light. It’s where I’ve always wanted to be, but never gave it a chance, never trusted myself to succeed, never felt I would be accepted. But as I held this book, I realized the whole time I felt lost, I was actually right where I wanted to be, I just took a difficult, uncomfortable path to get there. I almost quit my daily project this year, but after a chance meeting with a dear friend, I decided to continue. “You need this,” she told me. Oh was she right, for so many reasons. I thought of the famous Tolkien quote and how it related to me. Sure, I’ve been wandering. I’ve been trying to hard to get back onto the right path, where I’ve been told I need to be, the path that never felt right to me. I’ve been wandering, but even though I felt lost, I never was. Art was leading me to the true “right path.” Art has been teaching me the importance and necessity of vagabond voyaging, I just didn’t know it…until now. 166/365.
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I’ve reached the end of the second book I’ve been using for my daily project. Since the title was The Management of Time, I feel like I should be a master at time management now and have some epic moral to share that I learned through the process. I am not and I do not. Sorry. Instead, during the course of working in this book, I feel like I was faced with multiple opportunities not to consider how I manage my time, but instead, how I spend it. I’ve been forced to consider priorities, to learn who and what are most important in my life and how to focus my time on them. I’ve learned that time is precious, that time is short – even though at times it feels long. I’ve learned that time is limited and so is my energy and that I need to choose wisely when spending both. I’ve learned that knowing, truly knowing, where I want to spend my time is easy. But actually being able to spend it the way I want is not. Before I started this book, every time I thought about time management, I thought about tasks, work, corporate America and goals. But now, I know it’s more than that. It’s way bigger than that. Much simpler. It’s about life. It’s about love. It’s about tiny moments and soaking them all in to the core of our being so that when times become difficult, times become messy, we can push pause, pull them back out and remember who and what is truly important and how we want to spend our time. 164/365.
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Oliver’s new favorite game is frisbee. He brings it to me, sometimes drops it (sometimes makes me pull it from his teeth), then I throw it and he runs to catch it. He excitedly gets in front of its path, jumps in the air, but then, just lets the frisbee hit him in the face. He doesn’t open his mouth to catch it. He brings it back and I throw it again and I keep thinking that at some point, he’ll figure it out that he needs to open his mouth to catch the frisbee. But so far, no luck. I laugh, but lately, I’ve been watching him and thinking of how that series of events relates to me, relates to starting new things. We can have all the excitement in the world, run out after our ideas, our dreams, but if we aren’t open to receiving them, we can’t catch them. Being open isn’t an easy thing. It’s a risk. You could drop the frisbee. You could miss it entirely. Or, you could catch it. You could fly through the air with the frisbee in your mouth and land with all your feet on the ground, wagging your tail in sheer exhilaration (well, if you’re Oliver you’ll wag your tail 😊). As I began the @getmessyartjournal Season of Starting, I thought of all the ideas I’ve let hit me in the face, all the times I closed myself off. But as I made this page, I knew, it’s time to spread my wings and fly. It’s time to catch the frisbee. Thanks for the inspiration, Oliver ❤️. #thefoundartwalk #getmessyartjournal #getmessy #gmseasonofstarting #start #artjournal #artjournaleveryday #visualjournal #fabricbook #junkjournal #beopen #frisbeedog #inspiredbyoliver #chaseyourdreams #spreadyourwings